To me there are varying degrees of forgiveness, as well as varying types of offenses that ‘beg forgiveness‘. Crimes against nature and crimes against the heart. For me there is a wall dividing the two. I have been subjected to both in violent and violating ways, and from my perspective the crimes against the heart hurt worse. Loved ones have access to my heart, therefore can wound me where I really live, whereas strangers can’t. When a loved one commits a crime against nature against a loved one, it’s the worst kind of torture. That’s ‘special circumstances’ time.
It helps ME feel better when I am able to forgive. The person being forgiven, most of the time, could care less. So it’s for my spiritual benefit. I don’t judge others as to whether or not they believe as I do. I don’t ask for forgiveness from others. I believe changed actions are what make apologies, not empty words. If I say the words but can’t change the actions to support them, then I have made myself out to be a liar. Which just adds more charges of crimes against the heart.
Not all people are capable of change. This is not ‘better’ or ‘worse’ as far as character traits go. Just a fact, IMO.
I don’t know why we’re here, or why people die, but both are facts. I do know I’d rather hold someone’s hand while they’re dying, instead of being an ass and spending another day nursing an old wound over things that don’t matter once they’re dead. I’ve heard that two seconds after you’re dead, you don’t give a shit about anything any more. I think that’s true. If there is redemption and forgiveness for the dead, why not for the living?